Friday, August 12, 2011

Eh, why not?

So I'm deciding to post the prologue to my new story here. I've just started writing.

It's nothing special by any means. But here it is:

With every step my feet softly crunch against the forest earth. My legs have grown tired. Every second I get closer my excitement grows. I start to feel a slight hum, a small vibration. Could it be? I press on harder. I wade in and out of trees, narrowly missing some as I run towards the hum. It gets louder. Farther and farther I go until
I see it.
Right in front of me. This magical tree, this great willow. It glows. It hums. The leaves are floating around it like octopus tentacles. My heart nearly beats out of my chest. I blink my eyes in disbelief. I found it. Am I dreaming? It isn’t out of the question – for years I’ve had dreams similar to this. Although there was no hum. And I imagined the tree like it was in the books: colorless, no life. We only have black ink in the village. Color does it justice.
Stepping closer I feel the magic on my face. Colorful flecks of ecstasy against my skin. My eyes glaze over at the sight of it. Reaching out a hand, I grasp a leafy finger.
A jolt. Through my hand. Up my arm. Across my chest. Down my body and all over. The magic tickles at my mind and makes me want to sneeze, but I can’t; my lungs are suspended in animation.
I float. It takes me a minute to realize this, because I was so focused on the feeling of the jolt. The finger picks me up and gracefully holds me up in the air.
Maybe a minute. Maybe an hour. I fall softly, the finger gently setting me down. I feel changed. My body buzzes.
I can’t share this with anyone.

 So what I want to know is:
Did this make you want to read more?
How was the overall quality?
Anything obvious I should change?

Thnx guys ^.^


  1. I thought it was great, and if you enjoy writing it, I say continue on, I'd read it ;)

    The only issue I had was the spacing between the lines. I have a problem with my spatial memory, so that made it tricky to read (but that's only me, and doesn't diminish the quality of the work at all :)

  2. Thank you, Poida :)

    The spacing is because I have trouble reading things that are really close together, like the lines get jumbled and all that :p