Thursday, July 28, 2011

I feel so violated

When I was 10, I went through a hard year. Lots of things were changing and I wasn't totally sure how to handle all of it. I turned to two things; books, and nature.

We have a really big backyard. In the very back of our property we have a very wooded area with a creek, and I decided that that was my favorite place.
One of the trees had a swing, so whenever I felt bad I'd go out, sit on the swing and just sit for hours at a time. It felt awesome.

When I was about 11, my dad's friend from highschool asked if we could store some stuff for us in our big backyard.
"We're facing financial issues, and it's only a little bit," he reassured us.

That 'little bit' is still in our back yard today, two years later. And it's not going away anytime soon. And it isn't little, either. It's huge! It takes up most of our backyard!

So I didn't go out to the swing much. I enjoyed the nature before, and now when I saw the junk it ruined it for me. I really wanted my space back, so we came up with a solution.
We built a hanging bed that would be suspended from a tree farther out in our property. It was like a platform, but hanging so it gave me a really cool view. I only needed to turn my back from the ugly and it wasn't there anymore.

Well, somebody defiled the space. A few weeks ago we noticed two jackets hanging on our fence, and when my dad looked through the pockets he found knives. We took the knives and threw them away, but left the rest.
It was gone the next day.

A few days later I noticed that a bin out in our backyard was open. I hadn't opened it, and nobody else did either. It was the one where we kept the blankets and mattresses for our bed.

I mentioned it to my mom and so we went out to the bed, where we found the mattress on the bed, and a baseball cap on the ground.

So there's a hobo on my bed. My bed. So first someone @#$&ing ruins my swing, then someone goes and @#$&ing ruins my bed. Where do I have to go? We can't go farther in my property, because my dad said that I'm not allowed to go out too far without an adult, because we know that the hobo is there.... and he may or may not have knives.

I feel trapped. I can't go out in my own backyard for fear of meeting a hobo... does anyone else have this problem?
I also can't say to my parents, 'Hey I'm going out to such and such park,' because I'm thirteen and don't have a license. But I would if I could, because we have a beautiful park just a few miles away. And my neighborhood isn't safe, so I can't walk down the street.

In short - I feel trapped. I want to go to my backyard. I want that hobo and all that crap to be gone.


  1. Hmm, not a fun situation to be in, especially at such a young age.

    Unfortunately, life will deal you bad hands at times, it's just the way things are I'm afraid. Some of them you can shrug off with ease and move on, others will affect you for the rest of your life. You need to focus on the good and positive things you have, dwelling on the negatives (especially if they are out of your control) will never benefit you.

    Keep your chin up and above all, stay safe (I probably don't need to tell you that, you've already proven you have a good head on your shoulders) None of us wants to see anything bad happen to you.